25 Funny Quotes for Mums:

Below are 25 funny quotes for mums all us mums can relate to.   If life wasn’t hard enough as a parent, nowadays we also have the added pressure to come across as clever, inspirational, beautiful and witty on social media accounts such as Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat, etc (whilst hiding the fact we are up to our elbows in dirty nappies and haven’t washed our hair in weeks.) But never fear, here is a bank of quotes/ memes/ signs I’m sure all us mum’s can relate to, for you to amuse your social media friends with:

1. Momster (noun):                                                                                                                                   

2. Toddler sign can be purchased from  https://www.housenameplate.co.uk

3.  Mom’s often start the day feeling like this…and end the day feeling like this

4.  All these mom’s are on Pinterest making their own soap and reindeer shaped treats and I’m all like ‘I took a shower and kept the kids alive’                                         5.  Mom’s are like…thank you lord it’s bedtime

6.  Mom fact #482 – If you combine wine and dinner the new word is ‘winner’

7.  First child eats dirt. Parent calls doctor. Second child eats dirt. Parent cleans out mouth. Third child eats dirt. Parent wonders if she really needs to feed him lunch.

8. How do I put this? You will never ‘sleep in’ again.

9. When I buy stuff for me. When I buy stuff for the kids.

10. Silence is golden… unless you have kids, then silence is just suspicious.

11. Your children while they clean their room: 1% cleaning, 30% complaining, 69% playing with stuff they just found.

12. ‘Beware of the kids’ (£9.99 https://www.housenameplate.co.uk/family-friends-signs.html?p=3)

13. When my child asks for snack 5 minutes after not eating their dinner.

14… and then the little girl stayed in bed like she was supposed to, so the monsters wouldn’t eat her. The end!

15.  Me: stay in your own bed tonight, ok? 3 yr old: ok mommy I promise. 3.00am:

16.  How it looks: How it feels:

17.  That dreaded moment when you put down a sleeping baby and your hand is trapped under him and you would rather saw your arm off than risk waking him.

18.  Want kids to behave on road trips? Bring a bag of candy. Anytime they misbehave throw a piece of candy out of the window.

19.  First week of school: sandwich cut in a cute shape, sliced fruit, encouraging note. Last week of school: handful of croutons wrapped in foil.

20.  My apologies if there is a shortage of scotch tape in the world. My toddler needed to tape a piece of paper for no reason.

21. You want to know what's under your kid's car seat? You can't handle what's under your kid's car seat!!

22. Now they’ve invented a pregnancy test with a curved handle so you don’t get pee on your hand. Listen, if you aren’t ready to get pee on your hand… you’re definitely not ready for motherhood.

23.  Husband: how were the kids today? Me:

24.  Bathroom break. They will find you.

25.  I’m afraid you have what’s known as “children.”